Sick of the Apology

Verse 1 He said I looked tired again As if exhaustion was a personality flaw She asked if I’d been journaling Like scribbling would drain the poison out The dishes were clean The counters were quiet No one said thank you No one asked if I even ate Chorus I’m sick of the apology That’s carved into my throat The one I never wrote But say every time I don’t smile right Every time I leave a pause Every time I just exist without permission I’m sick of the apology That was never mine Verse 2 The mirror is cracked But still gets the job done I don’t know if the face it shows me Is before or after the fall The phone lit up this morning With four reminders to be better I deleted them all And brushed my teeth like it was war Chorus I’m sick of the apology That’s carved into my throat The one I never wrote But say every time I don’t play along Every time I want too much Every time I speak in anything but soft I’m sick of the apology That was never mine Bridge I know what they call a woman Who doesn’t explain Who doesn’t soothe Who doesn’t fold her anger into sugar They can keep their names I already burned mine Final Chorus I’m done with the apology Ripped it from my chest Let it rot with the rest Of the rules that only applied to me Of the smiles that bruised my teeth Of the silence that nearly became my name I’m done with the apology It was never mine